dance of sun and moon

You
Like a wild thing, fly
Flittering above the tress,
Amongst the stars, swimming
Beneath the lakes and rivers
Experiencing, breathing, boasting

all the while I sit
Stagnant
and enviably grounded

who am I
to keep you at surface level

why should I
sit and wait

Afraid to leave
that when you finally return
I’ll be gone

Fearful that you’ll forget I was waiting
and fly away once more

an endless dance of sun and moon
never to be fulfilled
never to be reconciled

Complacency, Contentment & Contempt

I don't know what brings me here today. I haven't written in quite awhile and I'm not feeling especially prolific. There's nothing specific that I need to get off my chest... But I am a firm believer that journaling is good for the soul; and my mood is introspective.

I've been reading a lot of poetry lately, reading friends' blogs, learning about how everyone else describes and deals with their own lives. Yet, I can't manage to put to words what I'm feeling myself. I feel somewhat lost.

In fact, for the first time I can remember, I feel insecure...inadequate.

It's an odd place to be for me. I've always been confident, sure. Regardless of life's obstacles, challenges and basic bullshit, I've never NOT known who I am. I've never compromised of myself. But lately... for reasons I'm still uncertain of... I feel that I have.

And again, there is nothing specific that makes me say so. There was no one event, no specific act, in which I fell short of some standard, real or imagined, that I hold for myself. I'm simply... treading water, making do, surviving, I guess.

I want more!!!

I want passion and fire. I want excitement and comroderie. I want intellect and challenge. I want beauty and laughter and change... I want romance and unbridled, never-ending chemistry!!!

Do I demand too much? Contentment isn't so bad. Is it? I mean, it can be boring... but isn't this what we all hope for - to be content with our lives? Because, for the most part, I am.

I guess the dreamer in me never died. I guess I still want to be an astronaut, a trapeeze artist, an engineer, an actress, a mother, an author, a doctor, a saint... I want to explore the stars and walk barefoot on the beach... I want to discover new technology and learn new languages and teach people how to find God... I want the kind of love that only poets truly know!!!

I want more.

One of those things

I don't claim credit for this.. I just like it:

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-0yqZzhw5dLIp2dcEBjAendU2VTI-?cq=1&l=16&u=20&mx=678&lmt=5&p=1743

Motto to live by...

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a glass of wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Wacky Weather

It was 81 degrees on Monday.... it is snowing today. What the f&*%???

Goodbye My Lover

I just heard the following song for the 1st time...

Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?'
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

By: James Blunt

False Empathy

The emptiness
the pain
never subsides
How can you know
what i feel
inside
You have
what i want
what i may
never know
Try as i might
my true feelings
don't show
You can't
understand
you never will
Only one other
can feel what
i feel

White boys...

My boyfriend is currently downstairs giving dance lessons to a friend of his. I'm afraid there really is no hope. This is lesson #2 and they're still stuck on snapping to the beat of the music. That is, assuming he can FIND the beat. He truly is a white boy...

Glenn's page

Some cool photography by a friend of mine...

http://mysite.verizon.net/vzenw9ar/