Life in a few words...

I don't know why I haven't written in a while. I guess I've just been busy. Life tends to get in the way sometimes of what you really want to do. But it doesn't matter. No one reads this anyway. Hell, I rarely even go back and read my own entries. They're way to fresh for reminiscing, and they're not interesting enough to draw me back for fun. Perhaps I should work on that...

So, I'm buying a house. (My first EVER!) And it's LOTS of work and stress. But so much fun at the same time! Knowing that when we finally get in, it will be ours... I can't wait! I need to slow down and reign myeslf in though... I have about 5,000 ideas of ways to change / decorate the place and I haven't even moved in yet. I think I'll write them down and draw scetches of the ideas in my head... At least that will help to stop my mind from racing, if nothing else.

Well, off to pay bills. Yippee!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I'm 27 today. And it finally hit me that I'm a growm up.

I'm not saying that I'm stressing about being old... (I'll save that for 30) but it's like a light finally switched on that I'm not a kid anymore. I've lived on my own for years, I pay my own bills, I have maintained the same job for 7 years, and I don't have to answer to anyone.

Plus, I have gone through a lot of grown up hell in the past 12 months. Not only did I take off work to drive to another state and move my ill mother and autistic brother closer to me, but then my mother passed away 2 months later, leaving my brother solely in my care. She did not leave a will or any provisions for him.

Thank God for my boyfriend and his WONDERFULLY supportive and caring family. Without all of them, I would have probably cracked.

Most people do not have to deal with caring for, let alone losing, a parent at such a young age. Those who do, usually do not have to care for a special needs sibling as a result.

This entry is not a method for me to gain sympathy, but a place for me to reflect on how strong I actually am. In looking back, it's a wonder I've survivied over the years. People tell me I'm strong. I've always just looked at it as being stubborn.

I refuse to allow misfortune to consume me as some people do. Everyone faces difficulties in life and everyone suffers through trials. It's how we choose to react and whether we bounce back from them that defines who we are. The quote below sums this up:

"Our greatest achievement is not in never falling. But in getting back up each time we fall."

I like to think that I've done that. So, happy birthday to me. And thanks, mom. You're the one who taught me how to be strong.

Flashback to younger days...

Children are great. We had a birthday party for my boyfriend's 4 year old son yesterday and the look on his face when he saw all the balloons was PRICELESS!

He kept running around all day saying, "It's my birthday, Papa. It's my birthday."

God, I wish I could remember that kind of excitement.

Home Sweet Home

I put an offer on a house the other day... They asked for $500 more. What kind of petty shit is that when you're talking THOUSANDS of dollars?!?!

Oh well, I'm getting a house! :)

Beautiful Disaster

he's soft to the touch...
but, frayed at the ends, he breaks...
he's never enough...
and still, he's more than i can take...

Punxsutawney Phil Can Kiss My Ass!

It's been a month since Groundhog Day... I'd like to yank that groundhog out of his hole and wring his hairy little neck!

I want spring, damn it!