Immaturity at it's finest...

Grow up, Jeff!

Gay diagnosis

I had a dream the other night that I was still married to my ex. I kept calling and calling but still couldn't manage to reach him on his cell phone. I was getting worried because I didn't know where he was and it wasn't like him to disappear. All of a sudden, my phone rings. It's him. He's at the hospital and has just been diagnosed as gay. Gay! As if it's a disease that one can be "diagnosed" with.

The funny thing is that my reaction was something like "well, that exaplains a lot of the problems we've been having lately."

Playing catch up

Wow! I can't believe it's been over a month since my last entry. I swore that I was going to make this a regular thing, but I guess life gets in the way sometimes. Let's see, what do I need to catch up on...

1. As of April 14th, I am officially a homeowner. Yep, finally decided to get with the grown ups and buy my own place. I just got tired of landlords telling me what I could and couldn't do (i.e. paint, have pets, etc.). I'm so glad that I'm my own boss when it comes to that stuff now. Although, I must admit, it is kinda scary to be so invested in something...

2. My friend Michelle had her baby! A little boy. Actually, a pretty big boy- 8lbs, 4.6 oz. She had a pretty rough time delivering but everything worked out well in the end. She had him naturally and is now the proud mother of Graeme Alexander (who looks like his daddy, btw).

3. My sex life couldn't be better. For a while we were sort-of in a slump and then all of a sudden, things heated up. I don't really know what changed except perhaps my own mindset about it. But things in the bedroom (or wherever) are pretty hot these days. The more I get it, the more I seem to want it. And the more I want it, the more I enjoy it. It's a good pattern to be developing...

4. My ex has completely cut off all communication with me. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but I'm pretty sure it is. I must admit that I am hurt by it but I can't honestly be mad at him. It's confusing and painful to stay in contact... only painful to be out of it. I guess he figured the lesser of the two would do him some good. Still, I do worry about him & I want him to know that I'll always care. I guess he knows... I just wish I knew for sure if he was ignoring me or if he just didn't get my email. At least if I know he's ignoring me than I can respect his wishes and forget about trying to make contact. It's the not knowing that keeps me hanging on. Bastard. He always could get to me even when I didn't want him to.

5. Another friend of mine just found out she's pregnant. And while I am very happy for her, it hurts to know that I'll have to watch someone else be the lucky one (again). It seems that I'll never get to be a mother at this point. We have tried for so long and nothing.

Anyway, I promise I'll write more often.