Things to do:
1. Clean my fucking house.2. Get out of debt.3. Learn a new language.4. Have mind-altering sex with a hot, African man.*Not necessarily in that order* :)
Yippee!!!
(*To be sung while doing a little happy dance*) I got promoted! I got promoted! I got promoted! It's about fucking time...
To those of us who still believe...
This is the funniest thing I have seen in a while.
Merry Christmas to all!
http://www.illwillpress.com/xmas.html
To the voice on my answering machine...
Sorry- I'll have to repent next year. Right now, the sex is too damned good!
Poetry lovers click here...
Holiday blues
The mother-in-law equivalent (if I were married) got the step-son equivalent a puppy, which is great, except that's what I was planning on getting him for Christmas. Oh, AND she gave it to him yesterday! Whatever happened to ANTICIPATION!?! Who gives a kid a present like that 2 weeks BEFORE Christmas!?!?! Toys aren't going to be exciting now... I'm just disappointed because I have been planning on getting him a puppy since April and now I don't get to. I did a ton of research on different dog breeds and their temperments to make sure we ended up with a dog that would be good with small children and now I don't even get a say in the type of dog that we get! The boyfriend thinks I'm being silly but, damn it, I'm the one who will end up taking care of it! And call me selfish, but I was SO EXCITED about getting him a puppy and now that's been taken from me! I didn't even get to see the excitement on his face when she gave it to him! Oh, and she told him that Santa Claus brought it. Ugh! Santa doesn't bring stuff before Christmas... he comes once a year! This child is never gonna believe in Santa - at least not for long. We're already fighting that battle because his mother doesn't celebrate Christmas... Now with my boyfriend's familiy treating it so non-chalantly, Matt is never gonna feel the magic that surrounds Christmas... What the hell am I gonna do when I have my own kids? There's no way in hell I'll let them ruin it like this for them! But how do I get my point across without insulting or hurting them? I love my boyfriend's mother and I know she is not mean-spirited. Hell, she probably thinks she did a good thing... helping us out since she knew we were thinking about getting a dog. My boyfriend doesn't really get my frustration either so it's even more difficult since I don't have back-up! I'll end up looking like a total bitch if I don't just suck it up and get over it. It's not just the puppy incident. It's Christmas in general with his family. I can't explain how magical it was for me as a child... knowing that Christmas is coming, anticipating Santa's visit, staying up half the night because you can't sleep you're so excited, and then waking up on Christmas morning to find all of the wonderful presesnts under the tree... surrounded by family... That doesn't last very long to begin with - but with all these obstacles, I fear it won't exist at all for Matthew. I just want him to feel that joy, that excitement that comes only once a year! I just want him to BELIEVE!I can get over the fact that I didn't get to give him the puppy (again, that's me being selfish and it's supposed to be about the child). And I can get over the fact that I have no say in the breed of the dog (the puppy is adorable and I know I'll love him anyway). But, I really have a problem with the fact that it was given to him yesterday - so close to Christmas... and that he was told that Santa Claus brought it. That's just wrong. No one can convince me otherwise.Oh, and another thing - we just discussed the whole puppy thing on Saturday and I said that I wanted to pick it out myself (or at least SEE this one before we decided)! So what happens? They give it to him on Monday without any further discussion and without me even being there to share in his excitement! They could have at least given me that. It's no wonder I sometimes feel like an outsider.
I just don't know
I had a dream last night that my ex called me from jail wanting me to come bail him out. What the fuck!?!?
Excerpt from:
Relient K's song: "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.Stop right there. Well I never should have said that it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back.[Chorus]I'm sorry for the person I became.I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.I'm ready to try and never become that way again'cause who I am hates who I've been.Who I am hates who I've been.*I just liked that*
At the risk of alienating my fellow femmes...
Women are crazy. I can say this because I am one. Certifiable. Loca. Insane. Men, I know you will agree (even if in secret because you are afraid of our wrath). And you deserve to! How can we expect you to understand us when we don't even understand ourselves? We are queens of irrationality... and I'm not even going to blame this on PMS. (A first, I know.) There are times when I truly feel like I'm not in control of myself. I cry hysterically and don't know why. I ramble about things insignificant and then say that's not what I'm upset about. I ask myself why I'm crying and I just don't know... But damn it, somebody better console me! And it snowballs.... out of control... I know in my head that I should stop - but I don't listen to myself. I'm stubborn like that.Guys- you'll just have to forgive us. We're fucking nuts! (And we hate it more than you do!)
A Heart's Desire - for Penny
A heart that beats
inside you
A heart that
isn't yours
A life that's growing,
changing
A miracle
unfolds
The absence
breaks your spirit
You're empty,
emptied, raw
You cried, you screamed,
you wailed
But no one saw
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
We got our first real snowfall of the season today. Okay, last night. And while the snow itself is beautiful and does wonders to put you in the Christmas spirit, it totally sucks ass when you're a responsible adult. What it meant for me was getting out of my warm, incredibly comfortable bed at 5am to shovel snow and scrape ice off my car. This, of course, before taking my shower, getting ready for the day, and driving to work.
Personally, I don't mind driving in the snow. I've never really had a problem navigating the streets and I don't freak out when my car's rear end fishtails a little bit. What I do mind are the SUV-driving assholes who think that just because they have a 4-wheel drive vehicle they are free to drive 70mph through otherwise treacherous roadways. Honestly, a vast majority of the accidents that I see during the winter involve SUV's.
Case in point: my co-worker just got a new vehicle a couple of months ago - a Hyundai Santa Fe. He couldn't wait for the first snowfall so that he could see how well the 4-wheel drive worked. He slid into a tree. Twice.
stay cool
have you ever met someone
that takes your breath away
and when you left their side
you wanted to stay?
you couldn't explain it
even within your own mind
an attraction so strange
and rare to find.
chemistry, pheremones,
unspoken ideal
incompatible otherwise
a moment you steal.
a touch, a glance
a known truth
secret solidarity
stay cool, be aloof...
