conflicted

what is it about you that makes me so insane
why can't i get you out of my head
every day i think of you
though i never see you
we haven't spoken in months
yet still... here you are
with me
in my head
in my heart
i'll never let you go
i'll just pretend...
a hypocrite i've become
i want to be his wife
but i'm still yours
can i ever be true
to myself
would it be fair to utter those words
to him