Baggage, used goods & other misnomers...

Baggage. Why do they call it that when someone has a past that haunts them? Baggage is what you pack your clothes in when going on a trip. Sure, you carry it with you, but people who have "baggage" don't usually want to take it with them. In fact, we're generally trying to get rid of it. So why do we have to give it a name that requires us to bring it along wherever we go? Might as well brand the letter "D" on my forehead.

I am a young divorcee. I married my high school sweetheart just out of college & we were together for almost 9 years. Hell, that's longer than most marriages that don't start out so young. Of course, when you're as young as I was when I got divorced, people like to judge you. They assume that you made a huge mistake when you originally got married- that you didn't know what you were getting into, that you weren't really in love, or that you didn't know what love was to begin with.

Well, I say fuck that. I knew exactly what I was getting into (a huge commitment for which there are no guarantees). I loved my husband with all of my heart and I truly meant "forever" when I said it. To this day, I hold a deeper love for him than anyone else in my life... But sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes when you love someone, you have to walk away. In order to continue loving them...

If my ex-husband and I had stayed together, we would have wound up ruining each other. And although it hurts every day to know that our dream has been crushed, I am grateful to think of him with a smile... Not everyone gets that. Most divorced couples never speak again, or when they do it is with pure spite for one another.

My ex and I speak of the children we'll never have... of a love that still endures... and of the separate lives we'll lead. We turn to one another for comfort when no one else will understand. Call me crazy, but I'd rather maintain this connection than sever it. I'd rather have this person in my life than not.

So the term "used goods" does not apply to me. Baggage is something I pack for a trip, not a burden I carry with me. For the memories that I carry are a blessing... sometimes painful, but well worth the agony...

Everyone has a past... why do we insist on making it a bad thing? Our past is what led to our present; our present what will lead us to our future... Each experience has made me the person that I am today. Each memory- good or bad- has taught me something that I needed to know.

I refuse to be labled by ignorance. By those who don't know me. I'm determined to move on...